An Exercise in Estrangement

I have now been phone-less for almost 6 days.

Rather than detailing the events leading up to this loss of what some may consider a part of myself or an extension of my arm, I would rather wax eloquent on the overall effects of this situation.

25 years ago, cells phones were merely a figment of the imagination.

Then Zack Morris starts carrying around his brick.

Now... I cannot function without a cell phone. I dance with it, sleep with it, and have occasionally showered with it. If its not in my hand, its in my pocket or on the table. We have a special (if not very unhealthy) relationship. Especially since I've come back from Europe and realized that I can text/call anyone I want, and I don't have to worry about ever running out of minutes.

So being without it has been... interesting. Not that this is the first time that my phone has been inexplicably separated from me (someone stepped on it once.) But... it is still tramatic none the less.

For one thing, I don't really feel safe without it. Ever since my car broke down in the middle of a semi-abandonned freeway and my cell phone was dead, I feel vulnerable if its not in perfect working order. So that's excuse #1 for always having it with me.

But on the up side - not having a phone allows you to kinda "check out" of the real world for a while. Maybe get your priorities straight. (And you have a legitimate excuse to ignore all phone calls.)

I've used my cell to walk unimpeded through the MSC during campaign week. Or to find my way out of Montparnasse in the middle of the night. What better reason to always have it with you? So although this week has been a chance for me to reevaluate my attachment to my cell phone, I don't plan on trying it again any time soon.

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My 5 Month Vacation

So its been a long time since I've posted... in the next few days I'm going to try to post more pics from this summer, plus a recap of my last few weeks in Paris... but until then, let me catch you up on what I'm up to.

First of all, I am considering this time in Houston as a vacation. Or exile. Or both - at the same time... depending on my mood. At first it was nice to relax, then it was tedious... now its nothing short of maddening. I am not the kind of person that can take sitting still for long periods of time with relatively little to do without going mildly insane.

The nice thing is that I have realized that I have a lot of friends from college here, and that Houston is not quite the boring place that I once thought it was. So although technically I am living with my parents (for the longest period of time since I graduated high school), I have acually moved into some friends' apartment in West U.  Thank you Liz and Bekah for the key and allowing me to crash on your couch for the majority of the week.

The candy factory (www.sweettasteoftexas.com) is slow. I've watched a lot of movies while doing arts and crafts and waiting for the Christmas season rush. But mostly its just arts and crafts... last week I was playing with glitter. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.  It gets on everything and spreads and doesn't come off.  Ever.

But mostly my life is spent waiting. Waiting for... something. An email. A phone call. Time to pass. Its like watching an egg boil... it won't happen if you're conscious of the time passing, because it always goes more slowly when you're aware of it. I'm trying to amuse myself the best I can... reading, movies, friends, and my various other hobbies. But mostly, I feel like I'm just treading water. I can't really start a life here in Houston because I'm not really here. I'm just passing through... on my way to somewhere else. Yet, I am here; and I believe that you need to BE where you are and not looking for or wishing you were someplace else.  It's incredibly frustrating.

So that's my life at the moment.

In regards to my plans, I'm not sure if backpacking before I start work is going to happen. Mostly because of the money thing... but I'm sure that I'll be traveling more than I did last summer. But I will be in Paris from February to November.

Sometimes when I think of that time period I get this giddy excited feeling... and then again, sometime I feel panicked and trapped. I remember the francophone bubble. I remember the emotional breakdown of my last week. I remember the feelings of claustrophobia. But then again, I remember the sunsets and the exploring... the cool air, the breathtaking views.  The ADVENTURE of it all.  So although I'm terrified, I feel like I need to do this.  For me.

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