Wanderer

Wanderer Above the Sea Fog by Casper David Friedrich

This painting has always spoken to me in some way, and I feel like at this present moment it encompasses all my feelings into one.

A person reaches a point in their life, a precipice, a "Do your worst!" kinda moment.

But this man is a wanderer - why?  Is he searching for something? Did he lose something?  Tragically or just a gradual slipping away?  Did he leave something?  Is he running or is he searching?

Is he looking out into a bright new future, looking forward to what tomorrow may bring, or is he gazing into the past, wondering if he made the right choice after all?

Are there regrets or only hope?  Happiness or sadness?  Yet despite the mixed feelings - there is still an overtone of loneliness.

But is he rising above the fog or contemplating jumping off?  Is he excited about cutting a new path or worried that where he goes, no one else may follow - for he has burned all the bridges behind him?

Will he remain a wanderer?

Does he identify with the rock? - stable, never changing... or the sea from which the fog came? - also eternal, but terrible, magnificent, and adaptable.  Able to break down the strongest of stone over time.

He is a traveller - but has his journey just begun or is it coming to an end?

What is he looking forward to? 

Where is he going?

Why?

What draws him, what moves him?  Is he being pushed or pulled, is he running to or from?  Is he selfishly looking for a new life for himself alone or is he trying to pave the wave for others?

In my own life, these are all the questions that I keep asking myself.  But for the moment, I am just happy to be the wanderer staring at the fog.  Its a challenging personal journey that is impossible to explain.  It can be frightening and exciting and unbelievably fulfilling at times.  More than anything, I know that I can survive anything.  I am a wanderer.  But I know who I am.