The Triples Challenge (aka Kassie's Breakdown)

Overall, I would have to say that I have worked harder this summer than I ever have in my entire life.  This job is stressful, the hours are long, and its virtually impossible to have a normal life.   Yet I would not change one second of it. Now... that being said, right before Franz left for Austin to train the fall class of guides for another season, he decided that it would be interesting to count just how many triples each of us had worked.  And what do you know... I was winning.  But not far behind me were Kregg, John P., Leach, and Chris.

So, add in the fact that we were incredibly understaffed those last 2 weeks, Franz decides to make things a little more interesting.  Whoever works the most triples by the time he gets back (in 1 week) is going to get a prize.  Sounds good right?  And then lets stop and think about this... we're burnt out... every single one of us.  BUT propose a competition between a bunch of type A personalities and suddenly everyone is willing to work twice as hard again just to WIN!!! Subtle.

But... unfortunately for everyone else, I was so far ahead by this point that even with the boys working on their days off, they still couldn't catch up... so it wasn't much of a competition.  18 triples in 3 months.  I was told that I may be the runner up for the Fat Tire record... Blakely (the guy with the most) has a bike named after him.  Maybe someday I'll earn that honor.

So my prize?  Not quite 100 euros... but almost as good.  Franz brought me a real life Freebirds burrito - basically he froze it and let it thaw in his suitcase on the flight over.  My first Mexican food in 3 months... I could have died right then.  Best meal ever.

Now fast-forward to the next day - I woke up feeling... claustrophobic.  And unusually tired.  But I had another triple that day, so what could I do?  I had my morning Coca-Light and a cafe creme as lunch; but when I was done with my first walking tour, I was still exhausted.  Usually that much caffeine will KINDA wake me up.  I tried to take a 15 minute nap between tours, but I was so tired I couldn't sleep.  What a miserable feeling... and that claustrophobic feeling was only getting worse.  

But I was 3pm bike #1 - and as I was walking out the door, Leach (3pm #2) asked if I was doing ok and if I wanted him to go to the Tower for me  (I must have looked pretty bad.)  I said no, but I wasn't sure if I could do another triple that day.  So I left the shop and started walking... by the time I got to the courtyard behind the shop, I was in a full out nervous breakdown... sobbing, hyperventilating... the whole nine-yards.  There was no way I could go - so I called him up, and he ran to meet me and calmed me down.  

So I made it through tour #2 with the help of Leach, another Coca-Light, and a cafe creme.  And then there was night bike... I think I got back from my 3pm tour and I had to immediately turn around and run to the Tower.  As I walked out the door to grab a bike, I started to cry again.  Devin (our bike mechanic) looked at me and asked if I was ok... I think my response between tears and clenched teeth was, "No... but there's nothing I can do about it."  When I got back to the shop again, I was still crying... Lisa had to yell at me to snap me out of it.  Another Coca-Light later (as you can tell, I cannot survive without caffeine), and I had made it through night bike.  Not only that, but Heather was at the shop waiting for me when I rolled in at 12:30am with my favorite bottle of rose.  I have never needed a glass of wine so badly.

So although I won the triples challenge, I think my mental stability suffered a huge blow.  19 triples.  Lisa later told me that she was sorry she had to yell at me to shape up (I understood the reason why), but that I had accomplished what most boys couldn't... what most people couldn't.  And from her, I took that as a huge compliment.  I may not be working as many tours now (I think Franz is trying to keep me sane), but I now know my breaking point, and this kinda scares me.  I didn't think I had one.

I can't deny it... I'm scared about working here for another year.  I'm scared about not being able to go on... to have another day like that one.  That was by far the worst day in Paris.  Looking back now, I realize how strong I've been this summer... but I need a break.  I need to forget about that day and just remember the good times and the fun I've had.  Because that's what makes doing this worthwhile.  That's what makes it fun to get up and be excited day after day.

How can I sit in a cubicle after a summer like this? My bike is my desk, and Paris is my office.