Happy Fall of the Berlin Wall

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the Berlin wall... and to celebrate that, a few videos for your viewing pleasure.

David Hasselhoff on the Berlin wall on Dec 31, 1989

And if that wasn't enough Hasselhoff... here is my favorite video

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Organizational Skills

For the most part, I am a very organized person... my affinity for Excel spreadsheets and Google calendars should be more than enough proof of that. But... even though I've been home for almost a month, I still have not unpacked.

In my defense, I didn't think that I would be living at home for more than 2 weeks - so why get organized when this was not a permanent arrangement. (Excuse #1)

Excuse #2: I lived in 25 square meters in Paris!!!! Do you know how big that is? Ok - here's a visual. Go into the master bathroom of your house, or better yet, your walk-in closet. Now add a bed, a stove, a mini-fridge, and a shower and PRESTO - you have my apartment. The only thing that's missing is a little, gay Frenchman. I could wash my hair and cook pasta at the same time. Those of you who stayed with me - back me up on this statement.

So needless to say, the ability to "spread out" has truly been a luxury. But I may have taken it a little far.

Yes, that is 2 huge suitcases, 1 mini suitcase, a duffel bag... and a partridge and a pear tree

If you're curious as to how I get to my bed, its easy! You jump over suitcase #1, two-step around the tennis shoes, high jump over the giant pile of books and try not to impale yourself on the stilettos that I have strategically placed to discourage any monsters trying to attack me (you can never be too safe these days).

I need to clean. I need to organize. But... you can ask my roommates (that would be Kim and Jeff Naron) - my mess does not ooze into other parts of the house. It stops at my door. So at least I've got that going for me.

And I might have gone a little overboard at Half-Priced Books as well.

Oh well... Anyone need a book?

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A Breath of Air

There is something to be said about coming back to the states. As I was leaving Paris, every bone in my body was screaming, "DON'T GO!!! YOU'RE GOING TO MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!!!! The scenery, the energy, the adventure! What are you going to do in Houston? Been there, done that. Go somewhere else." And of course a certain part of me does miss all of that.

But until I got here, I didn't realize that for 8 months, I have been living with this constant... pressure.

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I just finished reading, A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke. I think that for a year he's been following me around. Everything that happens to him in his year in Paris was my life. In the book, he goes to restaurants I went to, to bookstores I shopped at, had visa problems that I had, and everything that he observes about the French people, I also recognized at one point in time or another. Its such a great characterization of the French people. But that's just it... there are huge differences in culture that take a lot of getting used to.

Which relates back to this certain pressure - everyday... in my job, in my social life, in my home life... I was constantly being bombarded by NEW and DIFFERENT. And as exciting as that is, it is truly relaxing to just come home to the OLD and FAMILIAR.

So I am very content to stay here for the moment. I didn't think I would ever want to. I thought I would immediately HAVE to leave. But I think I'll stay... till its time to go. And it will be... someday. But not today.

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The Expat Life

Almost 8 months ago, I moved to Paris. I had a unique job which presented unique challenges. I had a boyfriend. I had a plan.

8 months later: I am officially retired from tourism. I don't have a boyfriend. I also don't have a plan.

But I also have realized a few things about what I want my life to look like. I have had the opportunity to meet people from all over the world, in all different professions, in all different walks of life and places in their life and each person has impacted me by giving me something NEW to think about.

Some things I know:

- I love Europe. I love my lifestyle here. Going back to the US - to me right now - means giving up part of my freedom. My freedom to walk around in the middle of the night and still feel safe. My freedom to never worry about how I'm going to get somewhere (bike, walking, taxi, public transportation, trains etc). My freedom to figure out who I am and not conform to the expectations that Americans have of what life is supposed to be like after graduating college.

- I can't work for the proverbial "man" anymore. I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs - no one in my family works in corporate America. No WONDER I can't see myself there. I can't get passionate about a bottom line. Non-profits, social enterprises or start up companies are much more interesting and personal to me.

- I want to be an expat. The expat community is unbelievable. No, you don't get along with everyone. But everyone challenges your perception - with each person I meet I am forced to reevaluate my ideas, values and beliefs. They don't necessarily change - but they are tested.

I'm not done with Europe. I'm not done with traveling.

And then there's the question that I'm dreading: what is it like to live in Paris?

I'm not sure if I can answer that question for someone who has never lived abroad.

Paris has been romanticized by art, literature and pop culture. It is the place of dreams and love and fashion and beauty. But to me, its where I learned what I want in life. Where I cried when my heart was broken. Where I walked around alone in a foreign city thousands of miles away from my friends and family. Where I worked my ass off. Where I craved Mexican food.

"Despite the perpetual rain, the sordid merchants, and the Homeric vulgarity of its carriage drivers, she would always remember Paris as the most beautiful city in the world, not because of what it was or was not in reality, but because it was linked to the memory of her happiest years." - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Paris is everything that you've imagined it is. Romantic. Magical. Perfect.

But until you live here, until you've been an expat somewhere, you can't understand it.

I started this blog to keep in contact with my friends and family - to help you share in my life over here. But as I try to put into words what its like to live here, as I try to summarize my time and what I've learned, and who I've become - I can't do it. It's unexplainable.

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Slowing Down

I just watched a TED talk on slowing down... how ironic that I got this from my boss...

Tonight marks my 31st triple tour since April here at Fat Tire.  And once again, I am almost to the point I was at last year where I just want to cry.  Burn out is here.  It sucks.

Is it worth it?  I'm not sure.  People ask me about living here in Paris all the time... all I can tell them is, I don't live in Paris.  I live in the Fat Tire world.  We work ridiculous hours that no one in France can possibly understand.  How could you?  When you're used to a 35 hour work week, working 13 hours a day 9 days in a row makes no sense whatsoever.  You might as well tell them that you are from a different planet.  Does not compute.  

So, no.  I don't get to practice my French.  No, I don't get to meet many French people.  No, I don't really get to experience life here.  

Don't get me wrong.  Sometimes I do.  Thursday night, I learned all the moves to "Beat It" by the guys that have a Michael Jackson dance-a-thon every night at the Eiffel Tower.  

But... the idea of slowing down has such a magical ring to it.  I find myself walking home listening to Debussy "Claire du Lune."  I want to stop and smell the roses.  Walk in the gardens.  Take a leisurely ride through the countryside.  And on my vacations, I want to be lazy and not feel the pressure to GO and to SEE and to DO.  I want to relax and enjoy.  Have a family meal.  Enjoy a wine and movie night.  Savor life and the relationships I have.

So tonight... since I can't savor anything else... I will sip my glass of wine as I watch TED and try to forget about my hectic life and day.  I'll think about the people I love and miss at home, and the people that I've met and cherish here, and the people that I'll meet and entertain tomorrow.  

And if you will (for me), take a moment to stop what you're doing and breath - no TV, internet, radio... just enjoy the silence and stillness.  Maybe I'll have my own person "On Walden Pond" moment after all. 

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Raw Berlin

I just need more time.  That's all I can say about this city, and the staff here in Berlin.  I need more time.  

Like a year.

At least.

First, let me introduce you to the cast of characters.

Blakley: whatever you need - he's you guy!  Party? Call Blakley.  Life advice?  Definitely Blakley.  Paris, Berlin... wherever... ride bikes with Blakley.

Ingo: our fearless host.  What else can you say about this lovable German?  

Kylie: the New Yorker.  No, we don't really speak the same language, but we try to meet at the Mason-Dixon line.

Me:  I fall down a lot.  (Thanks Blakley.)  And I like to dance.  And wear neat hats.  And purple jackets.

The beginning of a great night....

Our fearless leaders (Ingo and Blakley) are maybe two of the world's most generous people.  They are happy and kind and ridiculously fun. They love their jobs and their city - they eat, sleep and breath Berlin.  

Imagine a city that is constantly changing, growing, moving and transforming before your very eyes.  Minute by minute - it is different.  It is relevant - it's history is relatable.  You ride through the city and see bombed out buildings, squatters villages, shanty towns and graffiti.  You ride past the Berlin wall crossing from the East and the West several times just to get to your destination - yet even during MY lifetime, this has not always been possible.

The Holocost Memorial.

Bike tour with Blakley in front of the Reichstag or German Parliament.

Sniper tower from the Cold War.

Berlin Wall.

Bike tours by the Berlin Wall.

A bombed out building.  Not everything has been restored from the war.

Modern Berlin - overlooking the river.

East side gallery - the longest remaining stretch of the Berlin wall.  Now filled with amazing paintings and art.  Behind these are beach bars where people hang out all night.

This is truly the city that never sleeps - as I discovered as we rode our bikes home after a night out to a beautiful sunrise and to the sound of roosters crowing "Kiki-riki" (this is what German roosters say... French roosters say "Coco-ri-co"... where did American roosters get "Cockadoodle-doo?"... but this is a separate conversation.)

Evil geniuses at work.

This building (in the middle of Museum Island) would display anything you could create with the words it provided you.... thus, "Bend Ueber...." compliments of the evil masterminds above.

Absinthe.

This is an old bombed out building (squat) that they've turned into a 5 story bar.  Complete with dance floor.  And tons of bands.

Staircase to the top.

Its art is available to everyone in full view.  Banksy said, (and yes, he's British... but this applies) 

Bus stops are far more interesting and useful places to have art than in museums. Graffiti has more chance of meaning something or changing stuff than anything indoors. Graffiti has been used to start revolutions, stop wars, and generally is the voice of people who aren't listened to. Graffiti is one of those few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make somebody smile while they're having a piss.

This city recognizes its history - both good and bad - it doesn't wallow in it.  It is modern and ancient all at the same time.  To live in Berlin, I think, would be to be a part of history in the making.  Paris is Paris... it always will be what it is right now.  I think this is the best way to describe it: 

Paris (to quote Blakley... who I think was quoting Wolf) is beautiful, but Berlin is raw.

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Random Thoughts: TED Talks

For everyone who already knows about TED... awesome, I realize I'm a little behind on the times.  For anyone who DOESN'T know about TED... I am so glad that I get to be the person to enlighten you.  

My boss (and others) are constantly talking about this guy "ted,"  who apparently gives these great talks on all these different subjects.  Only recently did I actually google "ted talks" to figure out what was going on.

"TED" is not a guy.  It stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design.  Ideas worth spreading.  Basically the world's most intelligent and interesting people have these big conferences every year and they talk about what is up and coming in the world.  From food, politics, education, web design, art, music, technology, chinese food - anything and everything that a huge nerd like myself would be interested in.  Just watch.   I hope you get addicted too. (This is one of my new faves.)

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